the favor of the file keepers

I am going to say something here today, some things the urbane cosmopolitia would likely frown upon or worse, but that doesn't really matter anymore now, does it, we certainly crossed the line long ago and as I see it, they've done us a big favor. I had a roommate in the olden days who made a surprising remark I've never quite forgotten, the conversation prompting it long gone, but she said "The government has a file on everyone." She was adamant about this. I could not convince her that was a ludicrous idea, an absurd impossibility, too vast, tedious, a paranoid, egocentric fantasy.

So here I am today, after a whirlwind tour of latebreaking additions to the bloglist, see RECENTLY UPDATED BLOGS over there on the righthand column, and being in a sort of one comment fits all kind of mindset, my roommate's remark made so long ago comes round full circle because she was right, but not in the way I originally perceived her to mean. I don't think its the government necessarily, the truth is I don't know who it is, but something out there knows us.

We're identified very early, that part would be very easy, and it is that label, applied so early, which follows us throughout our entire lives in this particular go-around. You could, if you are so inclined, imagine what the process entails, what your label reads and where these files are stored, what the space looks like, who are the workers privy to our dossier and so forth.
And then, as an exercise in enlightenment, go back over the events that mark the passage of your time here and match up marker changes effecting you with simultaneously occurring external events.

To do this properly, you'll need to accept there are no coincidences.

Perhaps it is all predestined once you've been identified. Perhaps it is one lifetime-long 3D movie without an intermission. It could be that the farther away we go from the script the more real it all becomes, the less we are available to the roles for which we were originally cast. Then the effort is made automatically to pull us back into line - which goes only so far because once you've caught on, everything on your end improves and keeps on improving in the joy of knowledge and clarity of understanding. You understand that the movie is awful more than its good. You know it is there and you know it isn't you. It is a predatory horror flick, there appears to be no way to get around it, but to leave the theater, hike into the hills and fall arms akimbo on the grass being at one with it, with our Mother, and lie there, cradled in her love.

In other words, I accept this file keeping nonsense because, in a sense, my senses tell me the rewards are clearly one-sided. Seriously, it would have been insane to spend the whole trip squeezed between armrests in the darkness with a jeering, hooting crowd applauding the tortures and yukking it up during the sex scenes, whistling and stomping on the meditations and having to duck flying panties and overripe tomatoes.

I guess I am saying thanks here, thanks for the labeling, and thanks for the memories, indeed your efforts, whomever and whatever you are, have not been wasted. We got the message and we are more than happy to vacate your premises and never ever bother with you again. The pleasure is all ours.