D E E P I N T O A R T L I F E WEST

Friday, July 31, 2009

"Life is about loss."

Mia Farrow, speaking in a documentary about her life, after divorcing Woody Allen who then married their adopted daughter.

The President's remark concerning the stupid behavior of law enforcement is certainly one anybody, even without paying close attention to the incident prompting it, might have made offhandedly in recent times. The incident itself nearly pales in relation to Obama's statement, mirroring the times we now endure, times of deep turmoil and troubling questions in which one misstep leads to lock-up or worse, permanent public condemnation, as if we had somehow rolled back into the days of burning people alive who were suspected of witchery. As if the Jim Crow laws were back in effect in the courts and the court of public opinion hung people from trees for
consorting with those ones of darker skin. God help us for we have lost our way

... although that way keeps showing itself to have been a matter of decisions of the moment that distorted into a permanency of parasitical political correctness. It is exactly what results when a traveler, faced with various possibilities, takes a wrong turn, certain the detour on which he travels leads to his destination only to discover, too late, he's wound up in a cul de sac inside a gated, barrel-tiled maze where everything looks the same. He'd have to spend his dying days pressing the perimeters, being too threatened by his unconscious version of lockup to simply knock at one of the many locked doors and ask "Where am I? How do I get out of here?" Do you honestly think one or two beers in the Rose Garden at that stately mansion built by slaves can turn back the sands of time?

In this recent incident, we ask Cui Bono? Perhaps the Health Care industry breathing a small sigh of relief the ever-extending deadline for reform permits them unbridled opportunity to continue denial of care and keep charging obscene fees for a hospital administered tablet of acetaminophen?

Or perhaps the benefit belongs to second-generation Neocon followers of 4th generation warfare by halting the budget war over further F22 manufacturing while sliding those funds over to the unmanned aerial drone column. In this way, the other Gates, the Secdef, not the Harvard professor, can say the coalition troops are better protected.

Another noteworthy side benefit of "stupid remarks" is of course, viewer ratings of primetime TV news, vastly important to program sponsors who are the public screech of the corporatocracy. While Jocko News fades to chasing prescription providers, racism is a live body, always available for pundits' dissection offering a lifetime warranty of ratings borne from the bottomless well of correspondents, analysts, former and retired bottom-rung political-beat staffers, eager to expound on the expoundings of others who came before them, expounding on race since the Dutch slave ships kidnapped human beings from the dark continent to sell to other human beings, providing themselves with evolutionary financial evidence of New World progress.

All of which is backwards and upside down to the rest of this entry.

Let's not lose ourselves in despair over that which we have no control, rather, today, as on many days in these new strange days of our lives, consider all of life as learning to live with loss, to swim in its rivers, to survive when you are impacted behind its cascade of related damages as generally happens as naturally as breathing, one thing leading to another. We instead put the right foot ahead of the left, moving away from, moving to something more, awkwardly at first, testing the appetite of the Piranha, attempting success if for no other reason than revival of the self though understanding why these things have to happen at all. This is what we do and this is how we do it. If we do nothing, we will be eaten alive, or burned alive or noosed as Strange Fruit ...

Scientifically, biologically, philosophically, literally, figuratively and spiritually, the genesis of the matrix itself encompassing all of life, leads in one direction, always to its polar opposite, from birth towards death. That is our present phase within the cycle. We inhabit one above-ground, beneath-the-stars portion of space within the Universe. We are very small, indeed, we are nothing, but we dream we are something. We are in a dream that we matter. This we support through memory, we remember our feelings, events, other places, other people, different times, different from this day. We've seen the furniture of our collective pasts dissolve into the Now. We think it wasn't supposed to be this way, but that's just false desire speaking, taking us into the cul de sac of continued suffering. We've passed, unknown to ourselves, through the portal where elements of what we thought made us matter no longer exist. There is enough of the appearance of a familiar landscape to create the illusion nothing happened, but again, its
false desire at work. Stop looking at it. Loss and change goes on no matter what we do, who we think ourselves to be, what insurance we thought we possessed preventing the cycle's incessant movement towards the next phase.

If you have so far grokked what this is about, the negativity preventing your personal flow should vanish. Let it go. Maybe you are one of the fortunate who has understood this all along whatever your personal situation? That would be very rare, more realistically, you and I are in a state of readiness-to-know rather than all-knowing. If we really knew all of life is about loss, our's would be a drastically different, genuinely compassionate world. It could have been, all the tools were there and instead maligned. How far back it really goes are only general estimates, mankind appears today as satisfied to live with the malignment rather than work towards sustainability within the Universe. Yes, we hear they are working on it, sometimes, but that's usually just a grab for moral high ground - also known as ground for furthering someone else's suffering. When someone wins, someone else always loses.

The smallest kindness, those "here now, gone tomorrow" joys are easily attainable growth spurts achieved by our understanding the human being's natural state is that of suffering. Suffering is all we really have left, our losses, our foibles, our missteps, our uncertainties, our representative-selves making arrangements with the representative-selves of everyone else, this is all we have to withstand the backhoes of our time on Earth.

We should be doing everything we do with this knowledge at the root of our every action. This is why we hear "Love is the answer", because contained within each passing second exists the opportunity to fill the glass rather than ignore it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

"Doing the crosswords, turn off the phone ...

And I dreamed I'm on vacation."

... Addiction is a terrible thing. As the fifth day/night offline yawns on, everything I said in Sonata in D Minor is more true than ever. You don't want to hear about that, I know. Addicts are unable to tolerate the futility and self-destruction of what they are doing. I'm living with one mind here, the blog-mind and one mind out there, in the real world. In the real world, you easily see how the rise of credit in western civilization bonds like Bondo with the Internet. The addicted can't see that. They think all their information is safely stored online. Heh, wait until that day you cannot get to your email, or your bank account, or any search engines and all your little favorite places are in the broken box that has repair people laughing at you, seeing those beads of sweat break out on your forehead as the estimate goes higher. Why do they revel? Its their last chance, seriously, the price of laptops is so low, soon the repair people won't exist. Not that they were any good to begin with as addicts themselves, usually alkies. You know the signs. I have just a few stolen moments with you today, courtesy of the Firekeeper who I think feels a little sorry for me while catching his favorite dragster quartermile race, so I won't go into long descriptions. The race will be over soon and then, well, its goodbye again, friends. One day I will be back. I don't know when or how. It looks bad at this time, I see no way this situation can be remedied, not next week, not next year. Now, I am finding out what it is like to live without being a co-enabler.

Already I am sick of zombie-ing out in front of the TV thinking, thinking ... thinking how weird it is Detroit is the new New Orleans, have you noticed that? I lost touch with any "news" 5 days ago. I'm just distilling what I've seen so far, 10 years of "so far" and trying to make sense of it. First, one has to get past the "Why me?" and then rearrange your new life. Somehow, I'd managed to tie my painting into my blogging and now of course there is hell to pay. The digital is as useless as is the printer now. Everything was connected, and everything has come apart.

The Firekeeper has been trying hard to find a way to put me back into my addiction. As he scrolled through the financing options for new laptops, I couldn't help but see everything I've written here about the money economy roar up in front of us like the Beast of 666 breathing flames over my efforts to blast him with my Star Wars laser weapons. Once you appease him and allow his bloody claws into your bank balance, the door to the castle falls open over the moat and a thousand million hands arise from the flaming waters to drown you alive. Each purchase leads to another and then another, and there you are, everything you read about that is happening to other people is just waiting to happen to you. Everything in our New World is designed to operate on this system. If you elect to opt out, you will have nothing and be able to get nothing. If you opt in, you never realize the transition you've made.

Its quite a bit like Vanilla Sky. Life online is the Lucid Dream option. I like to think I have not really made my choice yet, I like to think there is a choice to be made, I'm standing on top of Rockefeller Center, the wind blowing in my face, wondering about it all. Its all that keeps me together right now. This must be happening to other people. I guess you might say I'm not ready to jump into real life all the way, except, there is always the except, I made my choice long, long ago, very willingly, too and am swirling in the vortex now. What we like to think and what is real are very different things.

I will be around, every now and then, probably during the next dragster quarter mile if I behave myself.
Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. In the meantime, I've got some painting to do. One thing that is interestingly becoming more and more obvious in this time of exceptional weirdness is human beings have a need to focus. Its a requirement in the same way food and shelter are required.

Bulletin Board: Sending love and get well wishes to Dadnerd. Belated greetings to Tex.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Red suspenders holding up the energy wars

Well, well, we meet again. Fancy that. I tried to get away, really, I did, but it appears I've attached myself to this drafting stool with superglue, even as its doing its BAU falling apart. This forces me to look up and grin sheepishly, at least I'm shrugging my shoulders, palms up, cuz this is a weird position to be in, isn't it. Gentlemen, ladies, its coming at us from all angles now. The smart ones got away. Yes, I know, we thought we were smart, but you see we are not. No, we are idiots. About every 20 minutes or so I achieve another insight as to how it is exactly that we find ourselves in this position. I'd put them all up for you, but I suspect you're having them too. The only way I would sum it up at this point is to acknowledge that we all-know-now. Idiots who know. Doesn't that make us credible? Nope, something is going on, it has a thousand faces, it enacts and re-enacts itself over and over, every day, in thousands of costumes so we usually don't recognize its continuing presence - because we are idiots falling for it every time. We've been led to believe we must indulge it.

What is it?

It is Greed. It lives in our mailboxes screeching for attention. If you open the flap it will explode into seven billion hands running over your body, your clothing, your mind and throttle you into immediate insanity, sometimes even death. But death is not where it stops. Not even the cessation of your existence on Planet Earth amounts to a hill of beans to Greed. Greed survives off the pyramid of normal human experience. The memorial coming up for Jocko, for example, is a panorama of Greed slavering at the trough. Where is Jocko? He won't be around for that big tour, will he. How many bets went south on that one? They have to make up those losses somehow and it is through classic, vintage BAU that is exactly the way Greed is working its magic moonwalk this time, and every time, walking on the idiots.

Like a return to the FM payola days, the hits just keep on coming.

Why Greed? Haven't we advanced beyond it by now? Greed is what you see when two Crows fight over one dead squirrel. We're supposed to be a higher, sentient species, at least that's what we've been led to believe.

How about this, nothing is what it appears. It very well may be that everything we've been led to believe is well, a lie. And why not? When someone does something they've been led to believe is wrong, they were also led to believe they must present themselves in the most flattering light in order to avoid retribution. That lovely pink light they show upon their behavior is a lie. This would mean that the very words they use to define what has taken place are at best, inappropriate words. These are words that have taken on new meaning known only to the Liar Class. Blinded by the light and the waterfall of meaningless drivel, the average listener misinterprets Liar words. When this situation occurs at the pace it is now happening, textbooks, encyclopedias and dictionaries have to be rewritten. If you are working with an outdated understanding of language, you'll think you are in-sane.

When the population of our planet was half its present count, Greed was manageable to the extent that it did not get in your face as often as it does when exponentially multiplied. If you are thinking Greed is out of control now, just wait until the next stats are out. How many Nadya Sulemans are out there birthing neonatals and decide, unknown to those of us who are presently losing our minds, arms and legs to Greed, that having eight embryos implanted will perfect their collagen cloned, faux celeb lifestyles? How many of these secret creatures live among us, designing themselves to look like someone else with fantasies a bankrupt state will supply pampers for fourteen infants on a student grant?

Why are we in Afghanistan? It wouldn't be to build and protect pipelines or anything, would it. What is an insurgent anyway? That couldn't be someone furious their home was eminent domained because they happened to live where the pipelines snake through their land, naaaaw...

Greed works to redefine intention and reactions. They'll need to rewrite the laws now. Obviously, what was once criminal is now legal. What was legal is now criminal. We could do the rewrite for them. Just turn it all inside out and you have it. A toxic asset is now a desirable purchase. Foreclosure is redistribution. Torture is no and no is yes. Death is a winning credit default swap. Greed is good.

Friday, July 03, 2009

Time Machine: a return to nowhere while planning the future

I would have posted here sooner, but there's been a lot more than usual going on.
You know, it always happens when I am deeply focused on something that a few sentences from the TV destroys my train of thought.

The paradox is then, BAU, business as usual, in conflict with what we know as truth through our own five senses. You with me?
Right, the BAU vision of solution (Again, progress has been redefined in NWO-speak to mean solution, of late, solution is redefined to mean helping hand that helps itself to your and your future generations costs of living this gawdawful lifestyle.) is paraded everywhere as something I will call a time machine. Better yet, a mass return to another time. A time where everything stays the same, but just gets shinier, faster, noisier, hotter, sweatier, stupider, there is no real known citizen pain, everyone has unlimited credit all the time. Pensions will be rightfully distributed, there will be summer school. We can keep watching MTV on our ipods.

This is what the TV insists you grok. Like hell I will, as I tighten the screws in my drafting chair, it falls apart every day, and its no wonder, my companion scored it out of the dumpster - dumped there by someone with very possibly the same problem. These government-approved propaganda spots make me feel sad for all the people who will be duped, again, as they are every time, and you can bet there will be at least enough duped during these sponsor breaks to make TV advertising worthwhile for the desperate. Yes, it was a commercial, over-long, one of those that obviously contracts to broadcast at 5,700 decibels higher than whatever Theater of the Absurd was interrupted - Senator "Bubblelips" Dodd was featured on the right of the screen until it shifts stage left to a young lady assuring the elderly that President Obama has just announced ground breaking legislation to keep them from being foreclosed. That one had a pretty long contract, meaning my drafting chair was easily rescrewed together again at least 45 times.

There is a new one out, its worse. I had to look away from my monitor, deep into a credibility-building rebuttal, only to see Obama making a live speech. Well, right away one naturally goes into an Orson Wells or a Hank Paulson moment, those kinds of "Uh Oh, this is it" moments. Except it wasn't. It slid on bucket loads of lard right into another young lady assuring the elderly they can stay in their homes, carry on with the good life by willing their homes away to this actress's employer's investment partners. The question we should ask ourselves is HOW is it these baloney real estate shylocks are able to imply the cooperation of S.Dodd and P.Obama and make such outrageous promises to Americans? There is only one way, and we know what that one way is.

I don't actually watch TV. Allow me to blame my housemate who must listen to Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann every night, even twice a night. In between the faux governmentally decreed solutions stealthly crafted for the sensitivities of well-meaning cretins and the frail elderly, there are brief, but highly-opinionated quips, all of which floats on gossamer spider webs over to my side of this huge, high-ceilinged room and pours into my ears, unwanted.

Tonight, there "she" was again. When is she going to get it, that she used up her 15 minutes AND used up our clothing allowance, and that she evidences everything she purports to be against every time she shows her face. Ms. Palin would do herself a favor by keeping a low profile. Obviously in these times however, she is the face of Sauron, and is driven by forces far beyond her control, far beyond the Wasilla Bowling Alley, if there is such a place. I don't know about you, considering the Jesus says to Paul "I can see your house from here" state of industrial, economic and social collapse we're experiencing, but I just can't visualize a President or Prime Minister of any sovereign nation, really any nation, feigning they did not see that live turkey go into the blood splattering slaughter cone and continue doing the smiley face BAU. Let me tell you, she exemplifies the fate of Mordor. You get what you see. Unless... unless she is so completely integrated with her ego and her Representative-Self's lying eyes she has no awareness of the punking she's in for as The Candidate.

Sheesh, I wouldn't want to be in any of their shoes for love or money.

The truth is I wouldn't want to be in ANYbody else's shoes anyway. I don't have a Representative self, so what you see is what you get.